SHARP AND BLUNT

FIRST DATE: IN THE BEGINNING OF LOVE-by Hajarah Yinkfree

The first time a person fall in Love is one significant moment in his/her life, yet it is the most delicate since 80% of “first time lover” are result of emotional attraction, physical attraction or even infatuation instead of love, this leads to various people having bitter experience in their first relationship.

This has also brought about the popular cliché that ‘First Love is not True Love’, whether this is true or not, no one can tell as many first love have proven it to be true while little first love have resulted in blissful  marriage.

One basic truth is that, the first time a guy find the courage to woo a girl, it is usually due to physical attraction, peer pressure, or a way to prove to himself that he is now matured, although he may later fall in love with the so called ‘first Love’.

 Meanwhile the first time a lady fall in love and say ‘Yes’ to a guy, it is usually when she feels appreciated, valued especially when the guy in question is somehow of high caliber than her in some ways (such as education, family background), while reasons may also range from feelings of been save with the guy to feeling that come from having a true love (which may be wrong) and how he sugarcoat is proposal.

The above proposition attest to the popular saying in the relationship world that guys are wired to be moved by what they see, while ladies are wired to be moved by what they hear.

In whatever case, in the beginning of love, i.e whenever a person find him/her self in Love for the first time, he/she is launched into a state of hypnotic hormonal state, which arose some kind of emotional feelings that seems to be different from whatever emotional feelings, he/she have had in the past, this emotional feeling sometimes become uncontrollable leading to various act that usually lead to heartbreak.

Some of the act which range from giving in to sex, unforeseen incompatibility, over excitement which is as a result of inexperience, makes one of the partners to take the other for guaranteed, especially when one of the partners is a Novice and the other has had some couple of relationships in the past. In any case whatever we experience in the beginning of love in as a result of what we expect in the relationship or the reasons of accepting in the first place.

A lady once said, ‘I couldn’t combat with myself when he came above every other, he was my first and i am ready to stick to him because I fear no one will come around and there is this thing i can’t pin point about first love being the best love as it is believed.
Statistic says the populations of females are times four more than the number of male youth, so I guess I am lucky to have him by my side even when I am not as good looking as Tara and as committed as Joy, my friend that faces disappointment everyday.

Can I go ahead without breaking up at the middle of the friendship? I need a companion yet I don’t want to suffer heart break. Love, am not sure about but I think I feel something for him. I need help; I don’t know whom to talk to because I am just 20years of age. Where should I go? In a dilemma state’

 I listened to her deeply while my mind scream it  through my heart that I have to accept that somebody out there is being troubled with this same experience.

The same wind pass by us but the effect of the wind is always different and that is where our being comes in, that is ourselves should come into being. It is about what we want and we must appreciate what we want but how well do what we want is a question I will like us to ponder on as a person or group reading this with a mindset for a progressive relationship. The ultimate rule says have yourself defined the answer to your want; create a map for every second or day of your life to answer to your
want.

I want to have an ultimate Nigeria certificate before I walk down the aisle with any one is very good to start with. I want to age 26 before I can think of marriage with him. It is all about comfort ability of the future that could be dispose to our experience or our cultural expectations. It is excellent!

Let me shock you ladies, no man wants a liability this days, so make it a map, stick to it. It is a period in a life time that must last; it will come even if you do not think of relationship, think of acceptance. Things change, situations make people change and so you have to be flexible with your map even at that point people disappoint you, don’t count, make it a point of learning.

Do you think you share the same quality and the quantity you could cope with? Do u trust him enough to open all your sense to know him more than what he told you without him knowing for fun? Make your relationship an interchangeable one and not a heavy weigh tone on an individual. See the two of you alone in it. 
by Hajarah Yinkfree