As
a relationship coach, I have come to realize that one of the most controversial
issues in relationship is SEX. I remember sometimes ago, when my best friend
who is also a relationship coach and I talked about it in a sleepover, even
though we had similar opinions but we were still unsure on whether we had an
answer.
Lately, the issue has caught my mind again. I
know that many people feel that sex is a must and a valuable weapon to keep
their spouse in a relationship. From what I’ve heard not many people believe
it’s possible to have a sex-free relationship. For example, I heard that if you
“give it up” right away you're considered smutty, but if you wait a while it’s
fine. Now that’s just what I’ve heard, it may not be true, because most people
who indulge in this act are not actually in love but infatuation.
In
this edition, I am going to be blunt as much as possible. The truth is most
times I don’t blame the youth of this jet age for this act since most of them
have been made to believe in the fairytale of love they see in Hollywood and
Nollywood Movies and it baffles me more to also see that our society has made sex
very cheap especially in advertisement agencies, insurance companies and the
likes who believes a product cannot sell without been sexually oriented, they
call Feminine Appeal.
The
fact is sex is a merger, which means any two that must indulge in sex must be
merged (married) and become one. Sex becomes legal and godly in marriage as it
becomes one flesh sharing one body, which is morally, mentally and spiritually
justifiable. People who do not follow this “reasonable rule” end up having
their parts in different bodies. And as Joysinatra Okaka(a relationship coach who
is also a friend of mine) would say, it shatters their souls, weakens their
spirit, pollute their body.
The
saying "fools rush in" may be true when it comes to sex and
relationships, especially for ladies. That is why, whenever ladies ask me if
SEX is a right thing in relationship; I usually subject them to four questions,
which are:
1. If
you eventually become pregnant out of wedlock, who is to face the societal
mockery, stigma and shame?
2. If
you resort to abort the pregnancy, who have the tendency of having a damaged
womb, or even death?
3. And
if anyone of the two individual involve, decide to keep the baby who “carries”
the baby for 9months and have the tendency of been distracted during the
period?( The Lady or the Guy)
After
getting their sincere answers to the above question which is usually (the lady),
then I ask them the last question, which to them it is usually funny and
embarrassing
4. Then
who is the fool?
Ladies
who have sex in a relationship are more likely to be dissatisfied later with
the quality of the relationship, because sex may have greater symbolic value
for ladies as an indicator of the relationship commitment than it does for
guys, ladies should not be moved by treat of break-up they get from guys who
agitate for sex before marriage. SEX IS NEVER A PREQUISTE FOR LOVE AS
RELATIONSHIP IS A TIME FOR INTERVIEW NOT INTERCOURSE.
If
God loves us and didn’t show that through SEX, then why should we show love
through sex. Conclusively if he or she needs SEX, let him or her marry you.
MY CHAT MAIL
I
am Adenike, 21 years old, I have not indulged in physical sex, my boyfriend
only agitates for Romance, cuddling, kissing. Coach do you think it is good for
our relationship, would you advice us to continue, and do you think my guy is
been fair for not demanding for sex?
My
Response: (sighs) firstly I want you to understand that sexual activities is
stronger than you because it is created by God, which means one day you may not
be able to control the sexual urge that may arise from those sexually
activities of yours. Adenike, is he your boyfriend or Fiancée? How many years
have you been dating? Without the answers to these questions, I might not be
able to give a conclusive answer to your question but the truth is if he is
your boyfriend stop the act, and if he is your fiancée, let him understand that
courtship is not a period of intercourse but interview
You can also inbox me
Or add me on whatsapp: 08093866131
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