What can be
said to be Synonymous to leukemia (cancer of the blood), infidelity is the
greatest treat that can affect a flourishing relationship even to the point of
placing such relationship on the corridor of mistrust.
Relationship
is synonymous to a garden that need to be nurtured in due season and taken care
of time to time. Unfortunately often the garden of our relationship is left
uncared for; infidelity then grows and love dies in the sight of lack of care
and attention.
Usually,
infidelity arises when there is something dreadfully wrong with a relationship
that neither partners can bear to neither talk about nor take responsibility,
until it pulverizes the Love in the relationship, making each partner
emotionally disconnected.
Sometimes,
it is a simply a matter of two people who love each other but sexually
incompatible; usually one partner wants massive sex while the other doesn’t
want much at all, so rather than breakup, the aggrieved partner who wants sex
finds someone who can satisfy his/her sexual urge.
Whatever
case that leads to infidelity, it must be cleared that infidelity is a
decision, even if it doesn’t feel that way to you. No one forces another to be
unfaithful. The truth is people expect a spouse to be completely honest, what
such people forget is that Love creates both happiness and heartaches, joy and
sorrow, so also does relationships
involve a lot of truth telling as well as some reasonable dishonesty, this is
so because everyone values their sense of freedom and privacy.
Disheartened
or not, romantic relationship are not usually stain free as we would like them
to be, just as a smooth relationships
can become complicated and full of bees instead of honey, in reality a happy
relationship is not a vaccine against infidelity but an attraction to various
forms of relationship poisons.
To make
matter more complicate, it is very difficult to detect infidelity and quite
impossible to investigate suspected case of infidelity in relationship than in
marriage, this is so since the modern day relationships have been characterized
by various forms of ‘protected’ medium of deception such as online dating.
If you
discovered that your spouse has been unfaithful, you will undoubtedly feel a
whole range of emotions, devastation, sadness and shock. All these are bound to
happen as the effect of infidelity on relationship is like a punctured
beautiful golden bowl.
Although you
might be telling yourself that your relationship or even marriage will never
heal, it will but not immediately. Recovering from infidelity involves
teamwork; both spouses must be fully ready to get their relationship back on
track.
As the unfaithful
partner; you might feel tremendously remorse, guilty and prefer avoiding
details entirely but experiences show that this is a formula for disaster; you
must explain bit by bit, why and how you find yourself in the mess. You can do
this by asking yourself some questions like; was I satisfying a sexual urge?
Did I grow up in a family/environment where infidelity was a way of life? Was
it friends’ influence that got me to this? ETC. Then you must also be willing
to end the external affairs and do whatever it takes to win back trust of your
spouse.
If you are the
betrayed partner; you must be willing to find ways to manage the
overwhelming emotions and begin to sort out what need to change so that such
thing will never happen again. You should also understand that although it is
believed that unless one get to the bottom of horrible things, such things
could happen again, but unfortunately, the reason your spouse strayed can be
quite complex, the ‘whys’ aren’t always clear, so don’t be too focus on the
‘whys’ rather be concerned on how it can be curbed.
To both
spouse( the unfaithful & the betrayed),it is normal to be more interested
in spending discussion free time after the initial shock of infidelity but
experiences show that spouses who successfully rebuild punctured relationship
recognize the indispensability of both partner talking about difficulties and
spending more time together thereby creating opportunities to reconnect and
develop new mutual interest.
Finally, it
is important to note that no two couple paths/steps to recovery from wounds of
infidelity are identical this is so because there are not quick to fix solution
but the ultimate antidote to healing from infidelity is total forgiveness,
which is frequently the first and last step in the healing process.
FROM MY MAIL
I am Femi a
student of NOUN. I started dating when I was in jss3, during that period I
dated a lady for 6 years without copulating with her, she jilted by going out
to copulate with guys, I had to stop the courtship. I later found another lady;
I didn’t have sex with her likewise. She too jilted with same issue, and ever
since then, I bent that if I involve myself in any relationship, I got to have
sex with the lady.
So I met a
lady in the year 2013, she do give me the opportunity to copulate with her but
not to the brim, she do give me flimsy alibi , which I concurred but I caught
her early this year; she has some guys having fun with her outside our
relationship. In fact she does sleep over night in the guys place. Please I
don’t know what to do.
REPLY
I can see you
found yourself in your First relationship slightly too early. More so each time
you aren’t in any relationship you always feel empty. Femi, I sensed you
nurture pains from past relationships and each time you go into a relationship
you go for revenge especially sex
revenge. My advice is cool the coal of revenge, forget about the past,
patiently look forward to finding someone who will love you and will not
necessary show it through sex because sex
isn’t love and I bet you once you find a soul mate you will see it as a
crime to have sex with her before marriage and likewise will she too.
…..more
mails and replies on www.publicfacesmagazine.com
You can also email me
Michealjacob21@gmail.com
Or
add me on whatsapp 08093866131
Follow
me on Twitter @DunamisMicheal
No comments:
Post a Comment