Sunday, February 28, 2016

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS “LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT”


‘First time I spotted her was that horrible Thursday on my way home in my Toyota Camry, after I just lost a contract presentation that would have earned my company a profit turnover of a whooping sum of #8 million. Although in a thoughtful and sorrowful state; I couldn’t but gawk at the stunning figure- 8 standing under the scorching sun.
On this figure was a charming orange flower patterned gown which could only stretch far as above her knees exposing her succulent laps and her slim long gorgeous legs. What blew my mind was the sexy projection of her boobs which stood firmly on her chest.  I fell in love immediately, Love at first sight you may call it ’

I know most people especially co- relationship coaches may disagree with me on this topic but I remain firm on my position that there is no such thing as ‘Love at first sight’. I want to categorically and emphatically state that what exists is ‘Attraction at First Sight’.
The truth is that, the  human sex that  believe more in the cliché or should I say malapropism - Love at first sight are the male sex, and this is because as a male, you are wired to be moved and attracted by what you see while  as a female you wired to be moved by what you hear.
When I raised this issue at a relationship gathering I anchored, a lady asked me if Ladies love at first sight. My answer to her was that ladies don’t also ‘love at first sight’ they too only get attracted to physical attributes of guys at first sight and mostly these attributes are those ones they have set that their dream man must posses.
I must confess that attraction (purportedly Love) at first sight breeds emotions which catapult you into an hormonal induced, semi hypnotic state, making you see the person in front of you as perfect or near perfect thereby arousing in you what I called “Hot Love”, prompting you to hastily propose or say yes. But I want to tell you at any point you find yourself in this state, get an extinguisher and cool the “Hot Love” within you   because if you hastily go into such relationship and the whirlwind of emotions blow on you, you may still use an extinguisher to quench such Hot Love but not the burns it might have left on you.
Let me shock you, those who believe in this cliché mostly find themselves in what I called the confused and not totally justified relationship, which is usually full of infatuations, deceit, problem of medical incompatibility, infidelity and so on.  This is so because their judgement about going into such relationship in the first place was only based on their Ecto-emotions or should I say the physical appearance.
What I‘m saying in essence is even when you get attracted to someone at first sight, create an avenue to move closer to the person, because his or her looks may not complement his or her character, this is to say that not all physically attractive persons  are worth having as life partners.
Love is meant to grow and once it is not giving the chance to grow before it is harvested, such love is bound to die at slightest wind or challenge, this is to say that even when you get attracted to someone at first sight, you don’t just proposed or say yes or end in court room or the altar, you must carefully allow the love to grow. If it then grows in due process and becomes harvestable, you can then justify your love at first sight.
Between a guy and a lady, the harvest stage of love is happy married life, hence I put forward the following as stages you should allow your love to grow (undergo) before you harvest it ( i.e. before  you and your partner set for marriage).
Stage one: Buying the seed (Friendship)
Stage two: Removing the chaff from the wheat (Relationship)
Stage three: Removing the weed (All round compatibility check)
Stage four: Planting (Courtship)
Stage five: watering (wedding)
Stage six: Marriage (harvest).....to be contd on next edition


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