32 WAYS TO TEST TRUE LOVE

Test 1 -Attraction Test

What attracts you to the man/lady and what attract him/her to you? If it is outward appearances like hair, set of teeth, car, money, breast, beauty, voice, Hips, shape, buttocks, height, position, gift, complexion etc. then it is infatuation not love. True love depends on Godly qualities such as intelligence, fear of God, hard work, integrity, submission etc. if what you love is just appearance, it appears you are just being lustful, if the appearance vanishes or any of the physical quality is lost , what do you think will happen to your so-called love?

Outward appearance is just based on the “CONTAINER” but true love Go for “CONTENT” first before considering the “CONTAINER”. A container can look beautiful while its content has expired or poisonous.

Test 2- Purpose Test

Why do you want that person? Is it to marry him/her or just to have sex with her or to kiss him, to touch her breast, fondle him, get his money or enjoy his big car and house?

If it is not based on life-long commitment (Marriage), forget it; it is not love, it is lust. If you notice that you somehow feel you can’t get marry to that partner or you noticed that partner is not really interested in marrying you, but have ulterior motive, then you are not in true love. Commitment to love involves a commitment to marry, not to have sex.

TEST 3- Activity Test

What do you normally do when you are together? I think you are truly in love, if you do the following things whenever you are together; planning about the future, praying/studying together, attending religious seminars, discussing about yourselves, career pursuit or educational pursuit.

 If all these are not involved and all you do is to kiss, hug, cuddle, fondle, watch dirty films, have sex, you are not in love though you will think you are but you are only being lustful and emotionally connected.

TEST 4- Caring Test

 Does the person care about your life, academics, emotion, feelings, career or all he/ she want is to have his/her way; how you feel about it notwithstanding; the person is not in love with you, if he wants sex despite the fact that you objected to it. She wants money even if it means you stealing it, it shows that the person does not care for you because true love cares and considers.

TEST 5- Longevity Test

How long do you think the relationship will last, is it till you find another person? True Love is permanent while lust is “peck and go” “Hit and Run”, do not be foolish, take to your heels.

If you are in a relationship that you can see it fall apart someday, then you are not in love but entangled in emotional hypnotic friendship.

TEST 6- Starting Test

Infatuation starts fast and grow in rush, there is no such thing as love at first sight, there can be infatuation and lust at first sight. Real love always starts slowly, it cannot be any other way; you have to know the person before you can truly love him/her. LOVE IS NEVER IN HASTE. So if you see that you are in a relationship where everything seems too fast, watch your back! He/she may want to get what he/she wants fast and vanish.

TEST 7- Purity Test

Does your relationship glorify God? Is it godly, if it does not, it is not love, it is of the devil; it is lust. It is sin. Paint it the way you like it, any love that is not pure is not love enough and it is bond to crumble and faint someday, somehow and anytime.

TEST 8- Divine Relationship Test

How far is your relationship with God, since you started this present relationship? Check your prayer life, bible study life, your commitment to the things of God, your hearing from God, do you feel the presence of God or feel ‘dry’? If that relationship has separated you from God, it is not love it is lust, go out of it before it destroys your life.

TEST 9- Interest Test

How consistent is your interest? In infatuation and lust, your interest in each other blows hot and cold, the reason is that your interest grows so fast that the root are shallow and is based only on emotions which can go up and down.

For real love, your feelings are likely to be warm and tender instead of hot and cold, not the kind that is ready to kill the guy that he sees with his girl, true love is matured and courteous.

So if you are in a relationship were your interest is on the swaying balance, where the other partner does not put your interest in place in whatever he/she is doing, even when what he/she is doing seems like he/she is showing how much he/she cares(e.g. jealousy), then that may not be true love.

TEST 10- Maturity Test

How old are you? If you are still a teenager, you are not likely in love, you are only being infatuated. True love comes with maturity. So all those “love affairs” in secondary schools are not of God because they are usually based on infatuation and lust, true love can only come from a matured mind, unselfish and godly. In fact why start a journey you are materially, socially, maturely and psychologically unprepared to embark on, you will soon realize you are not in love.

TEST 11- Effect Test

True love is always positive in its effect but Infatuation has a disorganizing effect upon your academics, life and personality. It makes you less efficient and less responsible, your romantic feelings are in control and you walk around day dreaming. Whenever you see somebody that looks or talks like him/her, you lose your control, whenever he is around nothing else matters. When he write you, you use hours imagining to have his touch again, if he promises that he is coming, you will not be able to do other things until he comes, and hours after he must have left, you will not be able to comport yourself, this is not Love; it is infatuation. Real love adds value to your life. Your partner will bring out the best quality in you, if it is true love, he or she will want to make you a better person.

TEST 12- Number Test

I got this message from a lady:

Sir, I don’t want my name to be publish, I am a young undergraduate lady. I am 19years old, I started courting with my boyfriend when I was 17, then he was 22. I allowed him to have sex with me after one year of our relationship. Sir now he is playing funny; he quits regularly and comes begging later, this is the fifth time. Recently I realized he is also dating another person. I confronted him; he apologized and promised to break up with the other lady, that he doesn’t want to lose me considering the fact that he deflowered me. Coach what should I do?

How many people are you presently in love with? If it is more than one person, then you are being lustful or do your partner still ‘falls in Love’ while with you? True love can only be directed toward one person at a time while infatuation and lust are polygamous in nature, they can be directed towards several people.

If you are in a relationship, yet you somehow find out that you are growing intimacy/love towards another person, then the issue is either that the former love isn’t love or you are not even in love at all with both persons.

TEST 13- Excitement Test

Are you always excited to see the person you said you love or you are just tolerating him/her, love do not tolerate but celebrates.

Read more in my book secrets of a blissful courtship

source: Bisi Adewale( emphasis added)