When
it comes to finding that special someone with whom you could spend the rest of
your days, compatibility will take you a long way. Sure, chemistry plays its
initial role in sparking interest; Commonality may have a part in continuing a
relationship onto the next level…but compatibility…this is where relationships
are firmly established or reluctantly crumble. Compatibility is what makes
dating search engines like GOOGLE wildly popular and marginally successful.
With
the devastation of the TomKat debacle, questions have been recently raised as
to if compatibility is enough. Religion played such a huge role in the
dissolution of that marriage
that it begs our attention to the issue. Recently,
Pat Robertson also weighed in on the discussion when he advised his listener to
dump his Muslim girlfriend. “There will be constant struggle and strife. Walk
Away!” Robertson pleaded.
Can
one’s faith really have that heavy of an impact on one’s relationships? That is
the real question. As long as there’s chemistry, some level of commonality, and
great compatibility, isn’t that enough to make a marriage last?
Scripture
says, “No!”
Amos
3:3 asks us, “Can two walk together except they be agreed?”
2
Corinthians 6:14-15 instructs us, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.
For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has
light with darkness?What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a
believer share with an unbeliever?”
And
over and over again in the Old Testament, God warned Israel not to marry
foreign spouses as they would bring with them the false religions to which they
were accustomed, and in the end pollute the sincerity of Israel’s faith in the
one true God, Yahweh.
There
are three main reasons why as Christian women who desire to be
Christ-followers, we should not be in a relationship with an unbeliever.*
First
and foremost, Scripture warns against it.
Really,
we could stop the conversation right at this point because if Scripture says
it, it’s important enough for us to do it. 1 John 5 reminds us that if we love
God, we will keep His commandments; we will take into account those guidelines
given to us by God Himself and obey them (1 John 5:2-3). John also reminds us
the reason why God has these guidelines: “We are writing these things so that
your joy may be complete,” (1 John 1:4). God wants us to be happy (John 10:10).
He wants us to have fun in this life, and the next, and He wants to save us the
heartache and frustration a marriage to a nonbeliever would cause. His commands
aren’t arbitrary. They always serve a purpose.
Secondly,
you won’t approach situations from the same vantage point.
Marriage
has plenty of challenges. My parents are coming up on their 50th wedding
anniversary and I have heard them say countless times, “Marriage is hard work.”
(And this coming from two people who believe the same things about God and His
Word!) And as similar as my parents’ belief systems are, they themselves are
vastly different. While those differences enable them to approach a problem or
situation from a different perspective, their starting point is the same. Their
core values line up in a way that enhances and beautifies their differences.
But if your core values – the faith that you have, what you think about God and
His Word – are in competition with each other, how can the basic problems of
life be solved (the way you raise children, how you invest your money, the
people with whom you build relationships).
Lastly,
you don’t have the eternal things in common.
Let
me let you in on a little secret that could revolutionize your life if you
applied it: Eternity is where it’s at! What do I mean by that? I mean…this
life…this one you’re living right now…it’s not about now; it’s about eternity.
The goals you have…the ones for which you live…the ones that drive you out of
bed in the morning…unless they’re eternally-focused, they’re inconsequential.
The choices you make every moment of every day can either distract you or
inspire you to live with eternity in view. Eternity is where it’s at! Paul
reminds us this in one of my favorite passages. Second Corinthians 4:17 and 18
says, “For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal
weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are
seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are
transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” This eternal perspective
is why Paul could boldly say, “For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain”
(Philippians 1:21). When it comes to a marriage relationship, eternal
perspectives play a big part. If one spouse is eternally-focused and one is
earthly-focused, the motivation behind their decisions is going to differ
immensely. Their end goals are literally worlds apart.
So,
what does religion have to do with compatibility? I think it is safe to say…a
LOT!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*
When I suggest that Christians should not be in a relationship with
nonbelievers, I am not suggesting that a married couple should divorce like Tom
and Katie Cruise. Scripture is clear about the role of the believing wife in
that situation (1 Peter 3).
SOURCE:unlockingfemininity.wordpress.com
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