TEN DEMONS OF ONLINE DATING

With social networking sites becoming a rage, online dating has been one major phenomenon that has caught the trend. There are innumerable sites that offer a platform to young hearts yearning for some love and warmth in their lives. Yes, it is a good thing, as it is modern, instant and liberal. But, is this trend really good beyond all this? Is it safe? Is it reliable? How far can we really go with someone we meet online? Not everyone gets partners  through online dating and be made an eternal love story. Really, we cannot get an ardent lover online. There are many pros and cons of online dating. Though, its demerits rise above on the balance
beam. You may look around, many must have tried it, but hardly anyone has got a successful online love story. Below is the list of Ten Reasons Why Online Dating Is A Bad Idea –

10. Lack of durability

One big question of dating online is how long can it last? A long distance relationship can be really troublesome. Not everyone is lucky enough to find a date from their own city. Even if you do, ofcourse you first interact online and then meet. Such relationships can’t really last long. For, in these bonds, no real meetings and interactions takes place at the primary level. And that is the most vital stage of bonding. We bond when we meet someone over a period of time, spend time talking together and being with each other in person. Yes, emotional connect does work. You may be very greatly bonded with someone you have hardly met. But a relationship is different. It involves not just emotional but also physical, mental and spiritual space. Until you are physically comfortable, mentally bonded, and psychologically understand each other, a relationship cannot go a long way. These things definitely lack in dating online, therefore making it a bad idea.

9. May Get Awkward In Person

This is one strange thing about online dating. The space we share with someone through social networking is in great contrast to that we share with people in the physical world. A partner ofcourse is the one with whom we plan a future and certainly share the most of our physical space. But due to this there is a vast difference in what we feel talking to them on the net and what we feel on actually being with them. In many cases it happens that the comfort and freedom we feel and share with a person virtually is a complete fiasco in person. Thus, making for another reason why dating online is a bad idea.

8. Physical Appearance: Not Enough

How can we judge someone we meet online? On how they look? What the wear? What they post? What they say? Is that enough? What we see is not enough since many of it can be mere illusions. A person will certain try to be at his best when you meet him/her online. Be it a boy or a girl, whoever is trying to find a date online will give his/her best shot. Ofcourse everyone has their own share of flaws, and no one likes to reveal them. But this can get really dangerous online. When you date somebody online, there can be a million things they hide from you and you don’t even have a clue of them. Just because a person looks good, decent and sophisticated does not really assure it. So, it is always better to date someone you actually know.

7. Desperacy

Isn’t it a desperate way to look out for a partner? A heartbroken person, who finds no mates in the real world is the most likely one to go looking for a date online, in an stranger, according to not one but a number of recent surveys. For most people who will be inclined to date an online partner will be those who fail to find a reliable soulmate in the real world. This is often therefore an outcome of desperacy that people get into such relationships, but later on they fall short of emotions, divert from each other and eventually break up. The void in our lives leads us to this path of online dating but after a period of time it only ends up to be a bad experience overall.

6. Lack of Seriousness

How serious can we get for someone we don’t know in the real world? There may be for a few days an intense feeling of connection and bonding, but this is short lived. In the long run, it is almost impossible that both the hearts are equally loyal and serious for each other. One person may get very serious but the other one may only have an infatuation, or perhaps not even that. Online dating is often like a tool for passing time, flirting or fulfilling one’s emotional and sensual needs for a temporary basis. Seriousness is terribly rare and unguaranteed in virtual relationships. Therefore online dating’s another flaw is the lack of seriousness.

5. Can It Be Love In The Real Sense?

Feelings are immaterialistic. They can’t be counted, calculated, detected, checked, measured, weighed or assured in anyway. Love is a big word. It is the strongest form of feeling. While in contrast online dating is a very shallow concept. Where love is about eternity, never ending bonding, trust, faith, warmth, happiness and all kinds of heavy emotions, online dating is merely a platform to fulfill one’s urges in an instant way. So, how can one ever be sure that we will find love through online dating? Perhaps talking a lot and knowing someone very well is possible through the internet, it may also lead to some genuine feelings, but certainly not everlasting ones. A crush, an infatuation or attraction is possible, but LOVE is not. It is a hard thing, almost impossible. How can one fall in love by merely talking too much? Love is a far deeper phenomenon. It has a soul and heart. It cannot be found by merely talking for long hours or meeting once or twice or looking at the best pictures of each other.

4. Virtual People

Online dating is a virtual concept. It makes you a part of the virtual world. This is therefore self explanatory. How can we expect a thing as real as love, partnership, relationship, compatibility through it? Those whom we meet online are virtual people, they can portray the best and we won’t even get a hint. Also, we can never trust them. We can never rely upon them. The lack of emotions and bonding in the actual sense will always be missing when finding a partner online.

3. Insecurity

Insecurity is another important aspect of online dating. This is natural. Insecurity is not necessarily a negative feeling. For partners, insecurity, jealousy and anxiety are signs that they actually care for each other and have a sense of possession for them. But for virtual partners it does have a negative indication. A virtual partner always has the sense of insecurity as how reliable is his partner. What is my partner doing? What does he/she do when he/she is not talking to me? Is he/she loyal? Is he/she truthful? Is he/she really what he/she shows? These questions keep popping up. The major reason being that we don’t know any background of the partner we found online. We simply have to believe what they say. And hence, there is always a sense of suspicion, doubt and insecurity with an online partner.

2. Loyalty

Loyalty is an inevitable parameter of love. What makes a relationship a relationship is loyalty. When two hearts are ready to be with each other, fight all odds, devote themselves to each other and be together only for each other, then is a relationship a relationship. That is what a commitment is. And this loyalty misses in online dating. We never have the option to go for a background check for a partner we meet online. We have to believe them. Even if we have some mutual friends, they can’t really be trusted. Can they? To find a relationship on the internet, where two hearts, even though miles apart, are loyal to each other, devoted to each other and ready to live together forever for each other, and only for each other is not only difficult but almost unattainable.

1. Trust

What is the most important value needed for a relationship? To this question we all may have varied answers, like, compatibility, understanding, love, loyalty … and so on. But if we notice, all of these values stand on the same base, i.e. trust. Trust is not what can be developed overnight or in an instant. Trust in the true sense takes a considerable amount of time and effort to bloom. It is a powerful phenomenon. Online dating can’t guarantee trust. What we see, what we hear, are often what can cheat us. Then how do we believe only what we think or feel? No, not that everyone that you meet online is a liar, or a double timer, or a Casanova or a flirt. But yes, you can’t trust people just after a few all- sweet conversations, and some sugar coated moments. Anyone can betray you any moment. When our childhood friends, our family members betray us, our closest people betray us, who are those whom we meet online? Trust is the most essential requirement of a relationship and it can’t be assured online. Fake accounts, false promise, lies, wrong information are very easily given online and there is no way to authenticate them, thus trapping many online dates. Hence, trust is essentially a matter of consideration for those looking for a date online. This very basis of a relationship goes missing online, making it a bad idea altogether.

Away from all these factors, if you still are someone who has found a partner online, with whom you share a bond that is pure and faithful, you are lucky beyond limits. You surely have got what anyone can even dream of generally

source: Ojaswini Srivastava